Why is it that in every science fiction movie, sooner or later the good guys always escape through the ventilation shaft?
From Star Wars to Lilo & Stitch, whenever the bad guys are chasing somebody they go in theere. Need to get out of jail, go through the ventilation shaft, somebody about to shoot you, jump in the ventilation shaft.
Why can't these "advanced" civilizations with their "lasers" either monitor inside the ventilation shaft or make them transparent for gods sake?
If I was filming a science fiction movie and the good guy ran away the scene would go like this
Henchmen #1: Commander Zoltar (always need either a Z in the bad guy name or a 'ar' ending, if possible both) the prisoners have run away.
Commander Zoltar: Check the ventilation shaft immediately!
January 30, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
As a parent, I am growing more and more concerned with the lack of quality control amongst toy companies.
Here is the latest toy recall. You have to click on the link below to see it.
October 04, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
Got the book sunday night, finished it Thursday night...
you can't drop the book...it's very well written
as for the storyline...it reminded me of mission impossible 3...every five minutes somebody pulls their face off to reveal somebody else under it (got to use that special effect). In the case of Harry Potter, it's a little bit too much polyjuice potion...
July 27, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I am willing to bet that one of Voldemort's horcruxes is Harry Potter's scar...
...wooohooo
May 09, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
I have their annual report in my hand. Their Vice Presidents have some interesting titles indeed.
J. Brown - Senior Vice President - Western Hemisphere
A. Lotfy - Senior Vice President - Eastern Hemisphere
Now those are bold titles...never seen that before.
Those two VP's are both vying for a promotion to become the coveted; Senior Vice President - Earth
but they also have a matrix organization that has a different set of VPs. They have to work together.
There is the:
Senior Vice President - Land
Senior Vice President - Seas
Senior Vice President - Air
Senior Vice President - Living Creatures
It's Friday night...let's have some fun.
April 28, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Google has entered the designer clothing business, and chosen Mevlanakapi, Istanbul as the location of its first store. Google aims to give the clothes away for free in return for contextual advertising on the clothing items. A spokesperson said, "It's a natural extension of our business model" and proceeded to give a well-placed Liverpool kiss to the photographer.
Enjoy
February 12, 2007 in Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (27) | TrackBack (0)
After much anticipation I saw the movie.
More of the same. Very funny, gets an A overall, but not as good as some of Borats shorter episodes.
Comic genius yes. Did I expect more, yes.
November 04, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
...by the most talented comedian on the planet today.
Here is the first four mintues. Thank you Emre for making me aware of this...
October 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde
May we all be blessed with his wit and quick mind.
October 18, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Some computer games are phenomenal because they are immersive and they are multiplayer. The classic example, the one which started it all, is Doom.
Some computer games are phenomenal because of their simplicity playing against a computer. The classic example, the one which started it all, is Tetris.
This game is more like Tetris, it's beauty is in its simplicity. Thank you (or curse you) Cem for recommending it.
Here it is: http://www.diggpuzzles.com/games/dicewars.swf
September 05, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1)
Google Translate translates text and web pages from one language to another. When complete and working accurately, it is a giant leap in organizing the world's information and making it universally available. It's not there yet, but I still get a kick out of seeing my blog in Spanish (so my in-laws can read it), Arabic and Japanese. I recommend you play with it. The feedback I got on the Spanish is that the translation is only so-so. But it will get better, and cover more languages.
It may even get to Turkish one day. But when they do they may find it challenging, because we have some long, long words. So I challenge Google to translate this word into into English:
"Muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriveremeyebileceklerimizdenmişsinizcesine"
It is a real, bonafide, 70-letter word, albeit somewhat absurd. I am not sure I can even translate it manually. It would be something like, "It sounds as if it is not one of those we can easily make unsuccessful". If anybody has a better take on it, be my guest. Google, let's see if you can be successful.
For a story of how this word could be used in a sentece go here (it's in Turkish).
July 09, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
En uzun kelime için açıklama:
"Kötü amaçların güdüldüğü bir öğretmen okulundayız. Yetiştirilen öğretmenlere öğrencileri nasıl muvaffakiyetsizleştirecekleri öğretiliyor. Yani öğretmenler birer muvaffakiyetsizleştirici olarak yetiştiriliyorlar. Fakat öğretmenlerden biri muvaffakiyetsizleştirici olmayı, yani muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştirilmeyi reddediyor, bu konuda ileri geri konuşuyor. Bütün öğretmenleri kolayca muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriverebileceğini düşünen okul müdürü bu duruma sinirleniyor,
ve söz konusu öğretmeni makamına çağırıp ona diyor ki: "Muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriveremeyebileceklerimizdenmişsinizcesine laflar ediyormuşsunuz ha? ..."
July 08, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
'The Sopranos' is a fantastic show. You can't help love these mobsters, because in between extortion and murder they show a level of wisdom and empathy rarely found in the most sophisticated environments.
I am following the show a little behind, I am at episode 6-7, Tony wakes from his coma and is approached by a evangelist pasteur showing him the way of salvation. Tony is reading a book about dinosaurs when he enters his room. I paraphrase the conversation.
Pasteur: "Scientists would have you believe that dinosaurs existed before humans. God created the world 6000 years ago and humans and dinsaurs lived together."
Tony Soprano: "Like in the Flintstones?"
Tony Soprano: "Yeah, but what about that carbon dating stuff and all"
Pasteur: "Tony, these people have an agenda."
Tony listens, nods his head, the preacher leaves. Then Tony's ever cynic nephew Christopher opens his mouth and utters these words I kid you not:
Christopher: "What's he sayin', there were dinosaurs back with Adam n' Eve?"
Tony Soprano: "I guess."
Christopher: "No way. T-Rex in the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve would be runnin' all the time scared shi..less, but the book says its supposed to be paradise"
There you have it. This show is written brilliantly.
June 10, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
The world cup started today, and productivity is gone. In order to catch up, for the next month, I will be scheduling all my meetings 6:00am and noon respectively in our conference room with a TV. Don't mind the game that's on, I am paying attention :-)
The high definition vidoes on the world cup home page are phenomenal as well. Watch them here. Fans far away will follow the games as if they are there. Fantastic.
June 09, 2006 in Sports | Permalink | Comments (0)
I found out about this site, Egosurf, at Jeff Clavier's blog. Very cool. Put your name and blog and it gives you a ranking of "how hot you are" Kind of like hotornot for blogging, or "analytical vanity searches". One day a score like this will be up there in importance like SAT's and GREs. At this point I score 4043 on Google, 5774 on Yahoo, 2427 on MSN and 1783 on del.icio.us. Let's see what these numbers become by the time this blog becomes 1 year old.
April 30, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Here is something I recently got...almost unbelievable...just read on...
"Spotted on BoingBoing is this special toilet paper just for kids. It's
printed with a puppy paw path that spans five sheets (and then begins
again). It's portion control for toilet paper, presumably there is a need to
have kids learn how much to use? I'm a bit confused as to the actual need,
and how this solves it. Wouldn't the amount needed depend on what is being
wiped? And who is being wiped?
I'd guess you'd want to teach kids to wipe until they are done - to pay
attention to the bodily and other cues (visual?) to ensure that the hygience
need has been handled. Making it such an inflexible system doesn't teach
anyone anything!
And if you use a different amount than five sheets, ever, then the system
breaks until you sync up back to sheet zero with the happy puppy. A training
system that is intolerant of (highly likely) user error is not a good
training system.
You must always use five and only five sheets. Regardless of what's going on
with your po-po! Cottonelle has forgotten that they work for us, not the
other way around.
And their site includes this lovely FAQ (which is such as misnomer, since
these are not likely to be frequently-asked-questions, but rather info they
wish to convey) that suggests some product problems besides the obvious
usability failures.
Why is my toilet paper printed on the inside? How do I fix this?
The good news is that this is an easy fix the toilet paper isn¹t actually
printed on the inside. What¹s happened is that the two plies have become
separated, and the inside ply is wrapped around the outside of your roll
(you¹ll probably also notice that the perforations on the two plies don¹t
line up). To fix, first make sure your toilet paper is positioned so that it
unrolls from the spindle with the sheets coming over the top. Next, steady
the roll so it does not move in the spindle. Take the top ply (make sure you
are only handling one ply) and unwrap it behind the roll. The print should
now appear on the outside, as intended, and the bottom ply should now be
longer that the top ply. Tear off the excess bottom plies (approximately 3)
and you are ready to go.
and When I tear the toilet paper, the perforations on the two plies do not
line up? How do I fix this? which offers the identical answer.
Now we're taking on toilet paper maintenance tasks? Who the hell wants to
fix their toilet paper? This is way too much work and this company hasn't a
clue about addressing real people's needs. "
April 28, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)
I got the joke below from a colleague yesterday. It's funny alright but, I think there is a profound lesson hidden in it. No matter if you are a venture capitalist, entrepreneur, engineer or sales guy, if you want to get your point across, you have to frame it in a context that your audience can relate to. Period. Now here is the joke...
Boudreaux, the smoothest talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty one day. Boudreaux's first assignment was to the military induction center, and because he was such a good talker they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.
Before long, the Captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance.
This was odd, because it would cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month more for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge.
The Captain decided that he would not ask Boudreaux directly about his selling techniques, but would instead sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.
Boudreaux stood up before latest group of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurans an' you goes to Iraq an' gets youself killed, da governmen' pays you beneficiary $20,000.00.
If you takes out da supplemental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollar a mons, den da governmen' gots to give you beneficiary $200,000.00!"
"NOW," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Iraq first?"
April 13, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)
I was driving by the ocean in Carmel this morning listening to a “nostalgia” CD I had burnt. It was all 1980’s music to remind me off my high school days. Among songs from Queen, Duran Duran and Nirvana was also Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. I like Cyndi Lauper, but have always felt sorry for her. After all, in her peak she had to be in the shadow of another female artist, Madonna, whose star has burnt far brighter and far longer.
Anyway, that song was supposed to take me back in time, but it did the opposite and took me forward in time to the future. Instead of taking me to my teenage years, it took me forward to my daughters’ teenage years. Instead of identifying with the adolescent in the song, I identified with her father. Here are the lyrics that hit me between my eyes:
“The phone rings in the middle of the night,
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"
Oh,daddy,dear,
You know you're still number one,
But girls,
They wanna have fu-un,
Oh,girls,just wanna have
That's all they really want.....
Some fun....”
Hmm, this is an inevitable future. One day, my daughters will say “I love you daddy, but…”
April 13, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Number 8 is my favorite by a long shot.
Understanding Engineers - Take One Normal
-------------------------------------------
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
said, Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fitted you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
--------------------------------------------
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
---------------------------------------------
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those
blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed
in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said,
"Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello,
George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent
for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
--------------------------------------------
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
--------------------------------------------
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
------------------------------------------
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
---------------------------------------------
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
---------------------------------------------
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week
and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at
it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you
for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer
said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a
talking frog, now that's cool.
April 05, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)
Guest Author, Yalin Karadogan, on the ligther side of life in London. In Turkish --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bu sabah otobusten inmeden once boynumu kapamak, eldivenlerimi gecirmek, sapkami giymek gibi hazirliklarimi yapip burda kisin bile ender rastlanan soguklukta Piccadilly caddesine kendimi biraktim. Aslinda kendimi biraktim demek cok dogru degil zira bir metrodan cikinca guruh halindeki kalabaliga ve sehre kendini birakmak mumkun, ancak otobusten bir-iki kisi ayni anda inince ayni etki olmuyor. 2005 yilinin benim icin onemli degisimliklerinden biri olan metro yerine otobus ile ise gidip gelebilme luksu sayesinde sehre bambaska bir bakis acisi edinmis durumdayim. Aklimda da hep U2'nun sozleri: "it's cold outside, but brightly lit / skip the subway, let's go to the overground / get your head out of the mud baby."
Sirketimdeki (nerdeyse) dokuz senelik is hayatimin her gunu sabah+aksam ise+eve metroyla gitmis+gelmis birisi olarak Londra'nin da yeniyuzyilin buyuk sehirleri etkileyen teror fenomeninden tube'umuzun vurulmasiyla payini almasi, 7/7 sabahi patlamadan biraz once Piccadilly line uzerindeki bir trenin icinde bulunmus olmamla birlikte beni cok etkiledi. Tam ofisim Green Park yakinlarina tasindiktan bir kac hafta sonra tube'un teror sonrasi kapali olusu beni otobuse alistirdi ve artik otobusun kolayligindan kolay vazgecemeyecegim. Hatta icinde su anda 8 adet video kamerasi olan 9 numarali modern otobusler bir yana Londra'nin artik tedavulden kalkan meshur Routemaster stilindeki otobusleriyle de bir kac ay ise gidip gelebilme keyfini yasayabilmis oldum. Ayakta durunca kafam tavanina degmesin diye 45 derecelik aciyla boynumu egmem gerekiyordu ama ama yuzyillik Routemaster'di iste, hic sikayet etmiyordum.
Zaten boyle eski bir takim seyleri tecrube ederken modernligin alistirdigi rahat yerine eskinin verdigi huzur agir basabiliyor bazen. Mesela gecenlerde cikan yeni Asterix kitabini cikar cikmaz hemen aldim, hemen okudum. Ne yazik ki berbat bir hikaye. Ne espriler tam olmus, ne de gondermeler. Ama yine de eskiden bildigin ve cok sevdigin karakterlerle vakit gecirmek o kadar hosuma gitti ki. Gecen sene Yuzuncu Yil kutlamalarimizda seyrettigimiz Ruya Takim macimiz gibi. Hocic, Kubilay, Hagi, Cuneyt, Buyuk Metin, Tanju ayni anda sahada: futbolun yavasligini kim takar, otur divana, ac birani, seyreyle tarihi. Ki Hagi'nin o macta Simovic'e attigi saka-otesi golu de hala ara ara seyrederim. Topa oyle vurabilen biri daha gelecek mi acaba ulkemize?
Ise gidip gelirken sehrin atardamarlarinda gecirdigim saatlerin herbirini turistik olmasa da sosyal ya da kulturel bir tecrube olarak dusunur, etrafimdaki karakterleri inceleyip ara ara kafamda hikayelerini yazardim. Mesela bu herif bu kizla niye kavga ediyor, veya bu cocuk annesinin kucaginda niye agliyor senaryolari. Tabii evlendigim tarih olan 21 Agustos 2004'ten beri bu etrafimdaki karakterlerin bayan olanlarini incelemem kimi yanlis anlasmalara sebebiyet vermis olup, Oya'ya neyin inceleme, neyin kesme oldugu arasindaki ince cizgiyi aciklamak zorunda kalmisligim vardir.
Metroda ve otobuste turistler - bayildigim manzaralardir. Senede 28 milyon turistin geldigi Britanya'da Londra'ya ugramadan donenlerin sayisi azdir diye tahmin ediyorum. Londra'da da malum taksi fiyatlari ve muazzam isleyen metro+otobus sistemi varken haliyle akin akin insani sistemde gormek mumkun. Evim de ofisim de turistlerin sik gittikleri yerlerde olunca da benim gibi her sabah her aksam yapilan rutin seyahatler esnasinda hayatinda ilk defa Londra'ya gelen dort kisilik Connecticut'lu aile benzeri manzalarla karsilasmak komik oluyor. Metro bombalamalarinda olen insanlarin icinde de dokuz yildir her sabah metroya binenler oldugu gibi elinde metro haritasi ve boynunda kamerasiyla hayatinda ilk defa Londra'yi ziyaret edenler de vardi. Bu dusunceden urkmemek mumkun degil. Ve tabii 7/7 ve 9/11 sonrasi bu sehirlerdeki urkutucu hassasiyetleri gosteren gecen sene izledigimiz Crash ya da Yes gibi dramatik filmlerin cikmis olmasi da tesaduf degil.
Turistlere donelim en iyisi. Londra'nin turistik klasikleri arasinda Buckingham Palace ve Big Ben'in yanisira bir de Portobello Road'da Cumartesi gunu sokak saticilarindan incik-boncuk alisveris tecrubesi vardir. Gecenlerde bu tecrubenin hep alici tarafinda yer almis birisi olarak Oya'dan bir Cumartesi masalarin obur tarafina gecme onerisi gelince tereddutsuz atladim. Planimiz Oya'nin mumlari ve baska bir arkadasimizin el yapimi fotograf albumleriyle masayi ve masraflari yari yariya paylasmak ve butun gunumuzu masa basina gecirerek hem Londra'mizla icice bir hayat tecrubesi yasamak, hem de biraz envanter azaltmakti. Dukkanlarda fiyatlarin %50 ile %75 arasi dehset indirimlerde oldugu durgunca bir Noel alisveris sezonu oncesi Londra'da buz gibi bir Cumartesi gunu tezgah acip musteri beklemenin ne kadar akil kari olacagini bizzat gorecektik.
Cumartesi sabah 5 gibi kalktik. O gun zaten Londra'nin nazli topcularindan hernedense takim cikmadigi icin haftalik sabah macimiz iptaldi. Dort kisilik ekibimizle sabah ayazinda saat 6 gibi Notting Hill'deki organizasyon ofisindeydik (tabii bu isin daha onceden kaydolmak ve sigortalanmak falan gibi detaylari var, ilgilenelere anlatabiliriz). Ofisin kepenkleri acilirken etrafimizda duzinelerce her milletten insan sabah kurrasini beklemekteydiler. Her hafta duzenli gidenler en iyi masalari kapiyor, ara ara gidenler bir sonraki kalitedeki masalari kapiyor, bizim gibi ilk defa gidenler ise en kotu yerlere dusuyor. Saat 8 gibi benim hayatimda Portobello Road'da gitmedigim, sokagin ve masalarin en sonlarinda bir yerde masamizin yeri belirlendi. Herhalde mallari getirisimiz ve ilk kahveleri alisimiz saat 9 gibiydi. Masamizi kiralayip kurarken etrafimizdaki esnafla guzel sohbetlerimiz oldu, dayanisma ornekleri yasandi, neye ihtiyacimiz varsa tecrubeli abi-ablalarimizdan kolayca tedarik etmemiz mumkun oldu. Bir ara siftah kelimesinin Ingilizcesini dusunduk dusunduk, cikaramadik, ama siftahimiz icin cok heyecanliydik. Saat 10 gibi de tezgahimizi acip beklemeye gecmistik.
Tezgahimiz bitip neseyle ilk hatira fotolarini cekmemiz ve birbirimize verdigimiz gazlarla birlikte ("bu mallar satmazsa hicbisey satmaz aaabi" veya "bu iki kutu stok yetmeyecek lan, peynir ekmek gibi satacak bunlar olm!" gibi) hepimizin gayet iyi bildigi satis gerceklerini sahsen tecrube etmeye baslamistik. Dukkanda, masada, nerde satiyorsan sat, bir mal satisinin gerceklesmesi icin:
1. Oncelikle musterinin senin onunden fiziksel olarak gecmesi,
2. Gecerken seni muhabbetinden, yuruyusunden, kafasinin donuk oldugu yonden firsat bulursa gormesi,
3. Gordugu zaman durmaya meyilli bir halet-i ruhiyede olmasi (telefonda konusuyorsa veya acelesi varsa hic sansin yok),
4. Durunca malinin kendisinde ilgi uyandirmasi,
5. Ilgilenince malini elleyerek koklayarak falan inceleyecek kadar vakit ayirmasi,
6. Vakti ayirmissa ve kendisini vazgecirecek bir olay yasamamissa (telefon calmasi, mali gozune sokan satici, vs) malini begenmesi,
7. Mali begendikten sonra fiyatini da begenmesi,
8. Ve son olarak da - acik arayla en zor adim olan - elini cebine sokup cuzdanindaki parayi sana vermesi gerekiyor. Masamizi kurusumuzdan sonraki dort saat boyunca (yani uyanisimizdan dokuz saat sonra oluyor) yukaridaki sekiz unsur ayni anda gerceklesmedigi icin masamizdan bir tane bile satis yapmadik. Gelip de urunlere bakan insan sayisi bile cok azdi. Yerimizin uzakligindan mi, havanin soguklugundan mi tam bilemiyorduk ama sonucta uzerimize korkunc bir karamsarlik coktu. Hemen sagimizdaki tezgahtaki iki metrelik siyah sacini kafasindaki beyaz turbana dapdar bir sekilde sarmasindan midir nedir kafasini hic oynatmadan konusan Hintli arkadas bile Hindistan'dan gelmis muazzam rengarenk giyim-kusam urunlerinden bir tane bile satmadi. Ki biz biraz olsun tecrube ve eglencesine ordaydik, oysa kendisi hayatini bu urunleri satarak kazaniyordu diye tahmin ediyorum.
Arada dialoga girdigimiz potansiyel musteriler olmadi degil tabii ki. Ancak yukardaki unsurlarin ilk besini basariyla gecmis ender musterilerin masamiza ugradigi anlarda bizim gruptaki 4-5 kisi birden uzerlerine ac kurtlar gibi yuklenince kendilerini intimide ettik ve unsurlarin altincisindan sektik. Veya mesela amacsizca yuruyen kolkola girmis mesut bir cift dusunun. Kiz aaa bak ne guzel mumlar diye masamiza yaklasiyor. Erkegin suratinda niye duruyoruz yaa? der gibi bir ifade. Kiz kokluyor, elliyor, fiyat soruyor. Erkek cep telefonuna bakiyor, sagi-solu seyrediyor, olayla alakasiz. Kiz mallardan birini ve fiyatini begeniyor, erkege soruyor alalim mi? diye. Erkek dudagini bukerek bosver yaa napicaz mumu simdi yayinti falan gibisinden bir yorum yapiyor. Kiz e peki madem diyip vazgeciyor. Kolkola uzaklasiyorlar. Isin en acikli yani masanin ote tarafindayken Oya'yla cok sik icinde bulundugumuz bir durum bu! O zaman birak yaaa deyip gitmek kolay. Ama su zaman masanin beri tarafinda disimdan peki iyi gunler derken icimden bu elemanin yillar once dogumuna yardimci olmus bir hastane gorevlisini aniyorum.
Artik musterilerle "su elimde gormus oldugunuz mum el yapimi Osmanli cami minaresi motiflerinin otesinde 200 saat yanar ve hayat boyu salonunuzun onemli bir dekorasyonu olur" tipinde bir dialogdan enerjimizi kaybederek Gora'daki Cem Yilmaz misali "neticede mum iste yani neresinden bakarsan bak" tipinde bir dialoga gectigimiz anlarda, tam moraller dibe vurmusken, ve her havuzun dibi ayniyken, inanilmaz bir sey oldu: album satan arkadaslarimizdan biri sabrinin da tukenmesiyle konustugu bir musteriye sabahtan beri soyledigi fiyatin yarisini soyleyerek satis yapti! Ogledensonrayla birlikte daha da kalabaliklasan Portobello Road'daki masamiza da bir anda inanilmaz bir momentum gelmisti. Ilk mumumuzu sattigimiz, fiyatta anlastiktan sonra ben tam torbaya koyarken fiyati £2 daha indirmeye calisan, ve sonunda yine de tam fiyattan alan Alman cifti Herrhausendiebeinder ile Frau Hausendiebeinder'i kolay kolay unutmayiz heralde. Artan satislarimiz ve yavas yavas ziyarete gelen arkadaslarimizla birlikte musteri dialogu konusunda da kendimizi asmaya baslamistik. Kapalicarsi ortamini iyi bilen insanlar olarak turistlerle kendi dilleri olan Ispanyolca, Italyanca, Yunanca, Portekizce, Fransizca, Rusca konusup, alanla da almayanla da nese icinde muhabbetlere girmeye baslamistik. Turistler tabii ki eglenceli oluyorlar ama Londrali cok enteresan tiplerle de karsilastik. Mesela bir elinde doner durum tutup diger eliyle £5'lik mumlardan birini alan gunes gozluklu sakalli arkadasin o mumu ne yaptigini merak ediyorum. Ayrica nereli oldugunu sordugumuzda bize gobekbaginin Jamaika'da kesilmis olmasina ragmen kendisini Dunyali olarak anan esrarli zenci arkadasa da selamlar olsun. Bu arada tabii ki bize gun boyu gidip gelerek hem moralman hem de satin alislariyla destek olan tum dostlarimiza da sevgiler. Son olarak da ogledensonra beliren koyu gri bulutlarin arasindan yagmur yagmasini eger gercekten herhangi bir guc bizler icin onlediyse, ona da sonsuz tesekkurler.
Sonucta uyanisimizdan takribi 12 saat sonra artik havanin hafiften kararmaya baslamasi ve gelen-gidenin de azalmasiyla masamizi toplamaya basladik. Envanterimizin cogu aynen duruyordu ama masamizin toplam satislariyla gunu az da olsa karda kapatmis oldugumuz icin gururluyduk. Yanimizdaki Hintli iki metre sacli arkadas kocaman tezgahini yine kafasini hic oynatmadan nasilsa toplamayi becermis ve vasat satislarina ragmen vedalasirken nesesini kacirmamisti. Bundan sonra herhangi bir sokak pazarinda mal satan insanlara hepimiz bambaska gozlerle bakacagiz. Birbirimizle ve Londra'yla cok ozel bir Cumartesi gecirmis olmanin verdigi mahmurlukla evlerimizin yolunu tuttuk. Bizim pestilimiz cikmisti ama Londra, caddeleri, metrolari, otobusleri, ve yuzlerce degisik ulkede gobekbagi kesilmis akin akin muazzam rengarenk insanlariyla Cumartesi gecesine hazirlanmaktaydi.
Neticede Londra iste yani neresinden bakarsan bak.
Yalin,
Londra
5 Ocak 2006.
January 08, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Why do I like this store so much?
They don't really have good quality stuff.
But they are cheap to the point of being disposable that I like a lot.
But by far the main reason I keep going there is the following:
It's the only place where I find clothes that are "too big for me".
Everywhere else it's a pain to find stuff that fits me.
There I try a pair of pants and they are "too big". Does that make you feel good or what?
This kind of customer satisfaction, and customer loyalty can't be bought.
December 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)
4400 hunters killed more than 50 Insurgent bears in New Jersey (and 75 more were heavily wounded and the remaing bears were told to surrender). The full news is below, but this quote of a proponent of the killing is very telling indeed.
"No matter where they eat, they're still going to reproduce," said Andy Romanelli, 36. "The facts are the facts. They're overpopulated."
It's not where they eat, but what they eat. If they can't to the bearproof trashcan, maybe just maybe the food supply would control the population.
One other proponent said: "If the bear had a chance he'd do the same to you and everybody you care for!"
Read the news for yourself.
By JOHN CURRAN, Associated Press Writer 41 minutes ago
VERNON, N.J. - As opponents turned out to denounce them, hunters killed more than 50 bears Monday at the start of a state-authorized hunt aimed at thinning New Jersey's burgeoning bear population. The hunt, restricted to the state's northwestern corner and open to about 4,400 hunters with permits, got under way in freezing weather after legal challenges by animal rights groups failed.
Black bears, once near extinction in the state, are now a common sight, menacing people, scampering through yards and rummaging in trash.
"Bears are beautiful animals, but they've got to be controlled," said Joe Giunta, 59, who bagged one Monday morning.
About a dozen hunt opponents gathered at a weigh station at Wawayanda State Park, confronting hunters and forming "bear rescue teams" with plans to tend to wounded bears and follow hunters in what they said was a mission of mercy. Many protesters wore bright orange shirts, the same color required of hunters.
"Today, for us, is a very sad day," said Lynda Smith, president of Bear Education and Resource Group, one of two groups that unsuccessfully sued to delay the hunt. "They're here to kill them, we're here to help them."
"It's an emotional issue," said Martin McHugh, director of the state Division of Fish and Wildlife, which estimates the bear population at between 1,600 and 3,200.
The state's last bear hunt was in 2003, when 328 were killed. That was the first since 1970, when hunts were suspended because the black bear population had dropped to about 100.
Proponents of the hunt rejected arguments that bear-proof trash cans and "aversive conditioning" — such as using fireworks to scare bears away from populated areas — would work better than a hunt.
"No matter where they eat, they're still going to reproduce," said Andy Romanelli, 36. "The facts are the facts. They're overpopulated."
State officials said 54 bears were killed as of 2:30 p.m. Monday. The total killed each day of the planned six-day hunt will not be available until the following day.
December 05, 2005 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)
HOW A NIGHT OF TRICK OR TREAT TURNED INTO A LESSON IN CASH MANAGEMENT - 10 LESSONS
10/31/2001 - Baris Karadogan
What I am about to tell you is all true except for places where I have embellished. Tonight, or about 2 hours ago began my first trick or treat experience in America. To be completely truthful it was the second trick or treat. The first one was when my parents were in the U.S. for two years between 1977 and 1978. I was 5 years old then and the only thing I remember is that I was “Casper the Friendly Ghost”. I also remember sticking my head in a bucket with apples in it. Years later I found out that that was called ‘bobbing for apples.’ Well they don’t bob for apples anymore and Casper, friendly as he may have been is now replaced by power rangers and Arachnaman, or was it Spiderman, I don’t remember.
Anyway, this was the first trick or treat with our twins Sofia and Lara. Our nanny Danielle was with us, and so was my brother, Yalin visiting from London. The week before I had promptly bought a bag of candy thinking that this little bag would be more than enough for the entire evening. I thought about 4-5 groups of kids would visit. Little did I realize what was to happen.
So here is the cash flow analogy. Imagine we are running a business and the candy I have at home is cash. When kids come I give out cash and when my daughters collect we receive cash. Those are my payables and receivables. In the end our product is, shall we say, “a happy Halloween.” The more kids come, the happier they leave because they get candy, and that’s the business we are in.
It started very well. The business plan was simple. My wife Susana, my brother, our nanny and the twins would go out in the neighborhood collecting and I would stay home to give the candy and join them occasionally. Lesson 1) Simple in theory doesn’t mean simple in practice.
So it took a while before Sofia and Lara, our sales force, was convinced to wear the chicken outfits that we made for them. Their sales training took longer than expected. Lesson 2) A sales force takes longer than expected to become profitable. In the meantime our doorbell kept ringing and I began to give out candy. Still grossly underestimating demand, I was hanging out Butterfingers and Hershey’s kisses faster than free food disappearing in a company kitchen. I wasn’t giving one piece of candy to each ghoul either; they were getting them in two’s and threes. Lesson number 3) It is easy to spend cash when you have lots of it.
So the evening continued. Slowly I noticed that our cash (candy) supplies began to run low. My sales force was knocking on doors left and right, but the candy they collected was in their cute little buckets. They were booking orders but I wasn’t realizing them until somehow they were brought back to our home. Lesson 4) Bookings don’t generate cash until you collect.
Enter my brother Yalin, who was dressed as a Jedi Knight. I gave him the orders to bring the candy from Sofia and Lara’s bucket back to our house. In a way he became my collection agent. During the night he kept bringing back the candy Sofia and Lara collected and I kept giving the same candy out. This worked just fine and I started accumulating cash. We were collecting faster than we were paying. Lesson 5) Days receivable < Days Payable generates cash. Thank God for Michael Dell.
Well there was a problem growing here. Now that we were rolling in cash, the CEO of this whole scheme, myself, engaged in funneling cash into his pocket. In this case, into my belly, because I was giving out black licorice candy and eating the Nestle Crunch Bars. Lesson 6) When things are going well, management gets fat!
And then the troubled times hit. Since Sofia and Lara were so cutely dressed as chicken they started spending more and more time at every house. This affected our cash position. While our neighbors/customers were asking intelligent questions like “are they twins?” and saying how cute they were, my brother was qoting Star Wars saying “May the Force be with you” and “Hello young Padawan!” If only he looked in the eye of our neighbors and waving his hand said “you will give me all your candy now” we’d have no problems. But that didn’t happen. Our sales force started to drag their feet. Our sales cycle got longer! Lesson 7) Sooner or later the sales cycle gets longer, keep your sales force properly motivated.
By this time my sales force was expanding internationally wondering into the side streets and I no longer had control over them. What’s worse the demand kept growing. Mermaids started showing up at my doorstep in schools, and superheroes, witches, teddy bears and ghosts snuck up on me from every direction. I was scared. Halloween had really begun. Soon enough I ran out of candy and in desperation started giving out donuts from the Entenmann’s pack Yalin had bought earlier. Later I was told that giving donuts is a big no no around here. The candy has to be wrapped. There is a parent out there who may just be discovering crushed donuts in their son/daughters loot. Sorry. Oh well, the neighborhood goblins took the donuts nonetheless. Lesson 8) When in desperation a company will sell anything including damaged goods in order to make money.
It was time for a reorganization in this company. My brother the Jedi master was now relegated to a quota carrying sales guy. He also got candy for every ring. 20 month old twins and a 26 year old Jedi were my salesforce now and the Jedi was using The Force and meeting his quota. Lesson 9) When survival is at stake everybody sells.
However, even that was not enough. Our payables exceeded our receivables so much that I ran out of even the donuts. I was going to offer them rice and meatballs but even a desperate CEO must not cross every line. So I turned off the lights in our business, which means that our house wasn’t participating in Halloween and I joined my now bankrupt Halloween crew.
It was wonderful walking around the neighborhood and meeting the people that in the usual hustle of the week I never make the effort to get to know. Everybody was friendly. Everybody was smiling. Despite the troubled times we were in, there was magic around and that magic was the sense of community. While I was two continents and an ocean away from my homeland I found a similar sense of security and friendship. So here is the final lesson. Lesson 10) No matter how difficult things may get, no matter how far away you may be from your comfort zone, when you make the effort there are always friends around. Tonight was the celebration of the human spirit and I am very happy that my first Halloween in the U.S. ended in such a good note. Next year, I am decorating my house.
November 16, 2005 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)
Recently I got a package in the mail from Safeway, the local supermarket. It was the first time I got a package from them, I opened it, hoping it was cash, but it wasn't. It was the Schick Quattro, the new razor. They wanted me to try it.
Shaving is a curse for men, but it is a worse curse if you don't need to shave. Nonetheless, the experience requires you to cut the top layer of your skin, taking with it growing hair. Early in history this was nontrivial, you had to carefully put the razor blade in the razor, screw the top and very carefully shave. Or if you used the hand blade, boy you could cut off your ear if you're not careful. It got easier over time, you got the disposables and then the Gillette razor. It was a big deal then.
Few years later, the Gillete Sensor showed up with the double blade. Boy that was innovation. The first blade cuts the hair and the second blade cuts the little piece that's pulled by the first blade thereby giving you a closer shave that women find irresistable.
I stopped right there. I still use the Gillette Sensor (Excel now) and it does the job. I get very happy when next gen stuff comes out because that will mean cheaper shaving for me most likely. Anyway then the Mach3 came out. Everybody had to have one, I have one too, but only use it rarely, I think it's in my travel bag. OK, so what's the story here? Three is greater than two, so does it really mean it is a better shave? I think it's pushing it. What really happens there? What the first blade AND the second blade misses, the third gets? Makes it sound like ten years ago people didn't know how to shave, and looked like they have a 5 o'clock shadow at 7:00 am? I don't think so. But they sold well, hats off to Gillete. Then they came up with the battery powered one which I thought was real genius going after the electric razor crowd. Gillette gets an A.
Enter Schick. What do they come up with? What strategic product management meeting resulted in the brilliant idea that said, "Hey lets come up with four blades? That's surely going to be better. If they bought three, they'll buy four. " Sounded a lot like that movie where one guy decides to make the video, "7 minute abs" which would blow away "8 minute abs" right out of business. Why cut my skin with 4 blades when 2 does the job? Think of the irritation on your skin. If you are 30 years old today, with 4 blades vs 2, in 20 years, you'll be 50 but with skin as tarnished as a 70 year old. Did Schick do long term studies on the four blades? I highly doubt that. So that is the first marketing mistake.
I heard Gillete will come up with 5. I sincerely hope they don't. Because then the geniuses at Shick will come up with six. The first blade cuts the hair, the second cuts it a little more, the third finishes off the root and takes part of your skin, the fourth eats into your epithelial tissue, the fifth takes care of your sweat glands forever and the sixth gently numbs the nerves so you don't feel pain inflicted by the first five... But what makes it even worse is the name. Hmm, my product has four blades, so let's call it: Quattro! This is just brilliant. I heard Schick paid $4M dollars to a branding agency to come up with the name. So, so creative. I would never have thought about it. Never done before, great job.
I want all of you who use the four blades to imagine an ad, where a graphics animation is shown of 4 blades going over 1 piece of hair. One, then another, then another, then another in slow motion? Would you still use it after picturing that in your heads? Poor little hair, taking all that abuse... So there you have it. To fight Gillete they decided to put four blades and call it Quattro.
I bet it will be a failure.
November 16, 2005 in Humor | Permalink | Comments (6)
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